the mess

I'll never be well poised. I'm not well kept.

My knees are scraped. My mind is wild.

But I'm proud.

You see, these are all signs of who I am, and to hide them would mean that I'm ashamed. But the scrape my knee is the sign of a bike ride across town. The words that come out with no sign of eloquence, are raw, creative, and the mark of a thoughtful mind. My house isn't pristine because I stayed out too late enjoying friends and live music. The resulting, scabbing mess on my knee, the dust bunny blowing in the fan, the hangover - those are life's battle wounds, and they're my proof that I'm alive and living in a way that I believe in.

I'm done trying to fix it. It's taken ups and downs to get here. I spent a lot of time concealing certain parts of myself, but lately there's been a revelation causing me to embrace what's true. Maybe you have to try to be something you aren't in order to figure out who you actually are. I lay all my cards on the table, probably share a bit too much with other people, but I'm not ashamed of any of it. I'm fallible, and adventurous, and broken, and strong, and wise, and silly, and relentless all at the same time. It's a messy combination of a person, for sure. There is nothing clean about it.

The personal journeys, the tears, the bellowing laughs...it's the fabric of life. And the mess of it makes me feel alive. I'm going to keep living it. I'm going to keep sharing it. I no longer care if what you see is a perfect package.

sometimes you should: move consciously

For the most part, human beings are roamers. Each day, over 4.3 billion people ride the subway in NYC alone. We travel from place to place driven by, what I believe, to be the same force as life itself. We're always on the move - but, where are we going? Do we even know?

I love riding the subway with this question in mind, and trying to figure out who people are. So much of a human's identity is built into the movements that they make, from gesture, to travel, to experience. We are all in motion, living out a life that no one else has. Our movements make us unique.

It gets you to thinking about your own: the things you do, the places you go, and the people you interact with. Together, they all form you and your life. There are so many possible scenarios for that life, and it comes down to choice. Options may be tough to see, but the fact is that they are there. You can choose your movements consciously, and this realization gives a new-found inner strength to accomplish dreams and goals. 

As you question where other people are going, try to have a firm understanding of where your headed yourself. Move with care whether to figure out what you want, or whether to move towards what you already know you want.