numie abbot: sunset

6.26.2014

I've been on the road a lot lately. As I write this, I'm sitting in a hotel room in Harrisonburg, Virginia. It's just me and a big fat bible. The bible came with the room, I'm just a person passing through.

The long hours have left me a lot with myself. I don't think I've ever spent so much time in my own head as I have this past month. For some, that might sound great - the wide open road, time alone - but for me its been a bit bumpy. You see, I've always liked a certain amount of time to do my own thing, but at the end of the day, I like to be around friends. I like the energy of people close by, and without it I get lonely.

But I haven't had much choice, so instead I sit with it and let it happen. I stop myself when I start feeling sorry because I know this is a significant turning point in my life. Right now, I'm chasing after my own, and I cannot expect others to chase with me. At the end of each long journey, I've found immense joy and meaning for the road ahead. These are experiences meant for me, and me alone. Along the way, I'm building a strong sense of self awareness that for the first time ever comes from within. I find a pillar of strength in that.

I've come to realize that I have a self identity outside of interactions with other people. It's easy to develop an outlook on yourself based off of the way others treat you, and what they tell you about yourself. But when you step away from that mirror, who are you?

Me, I'm a thinker...and a nerd. I listen to way too much NPR, and today, I caught myself engulfed in CSPAN radio as I drove through Washington DC. Why? Because I find it interesting and informative...and the kind of knowledge I should be filling my head with. As I drove on and the station fizzled away, the channel changed to country. I'm embarrassed to even admit it. The last time I listened to the country music station was back in high school. In fact, back then I loved it! It was my radio of choice. Maybe I like it now because it brings me back there. It reminds me of when things were simple. When life really was pick-up trucks, beer, and boys. When I really did spend all day on a farm, and head down to the lake with my best friends. As I drove through the valleys of America's wide open spaces today, the music cradled me with the safety I needed out here all alone.

Needless to say, I'm in limbo. It's that awkward growing phase where you don't feel like who you were, and you don't feel like you are who you're going to be. I'm me, right now. This silly being figuring it all out. I dream all day long about what's next. I know I can't stay where I'm at, but I also know that I can't yet leave. So I'm stuck. And I'm growing. I'm grooming myself to be able to do what I want. One day it will come, and when it does, it will be so, so sweet.

5.26.2014

As many of you know, I work for the brand, Free People, and as of as of late it's been a very exciting company to be a part of. This summer our whole marketing team has been traveling all over the globe, promoting the brand and putting together amazing campaigns.

Last week was finally my turn. I spent the week traveling, starting off in Brooklyn, and then on to California for an FP Me beach & camping event. We pooled together 25 local FP Me girls, and organized everyone's dream beach day. Surfing with Sage Erickson, Volkswagen buses, epic Pinterest-worthy setups, camping - we didn't skimp on anything to make sure these girls had a great time.

I was there documenting it all, and with the beautiful scenery, people, and setups, it was just too fun to keep snapping. This was also my first time in Southern California (I don't count the visit when I was 10), and Mother Nature's presence here is simply different. In one direction, ocean, in the other, mountains. Succulents grow wild, and everywhere you look, palm trees shoot into the sky. My favorite thing was studying all of the strange plants. More to come on the wildlife of Southern California, but I have to say, as an East Coast girl, I must have looked like I'd landed on Mars.